Me. At least after what I've been through.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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