no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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