i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
