I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
