wakey wakey hands off snakey
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
