I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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