halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
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