New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
