Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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