Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He has the fingertips of a God
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