I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
