And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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