You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
