ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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