he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
