Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
