I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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