does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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