thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
