I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
