if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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