nut hugger
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
