I accidentally burped into my bong.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
