Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sponge bath it is.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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