you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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