so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize