sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
