But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
