Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
