im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
