its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
