tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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