I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize