I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize