we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
