Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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