So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
