mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
third nipple confirmed
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
