I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
