wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
