do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
