I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize