normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
