That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
