bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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