Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
