some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
