grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
