you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize