I want to walk on stilts...naked
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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