Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
