i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
