They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
