your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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