i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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