Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize