her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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