I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
