Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
