Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
