I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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