OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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