if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
