I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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