Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize