Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize