He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
