I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
