I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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