Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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