Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you had me at cake vodka
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
