If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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