im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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