dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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