i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Randomize
