no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
