you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
