Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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