Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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