its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
