Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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