I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
