Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't deserve a penis
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
