I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
and you fell through a lawn chair
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
