so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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