I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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