If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize