I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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